Touch / <터치> 2012

Directed by: Min Byeong-hoon / 민병훈
Release date: November 2012

An uncannily sensitive woman tries to make better all the troubling situations around her – people neglected by the health system, child abusers, troubled teens – and, for the most part, her gestures all go wrong. Yet she seems incapable of doing anything but keep on trying. The heartbreaks and frustrations just go on and on.

An oddly dark film, with large gaps in the plot left unexplained. Deer make frequent appearances in the film, symbolizing something but it’s not clear what. The filmmaker had some sort of vision about being "애매하다" (vague, obscure) but it did not work well and we spent much of the film trying to guess just what was supposed to be going on. Superb and sensitive acting. An overdone soundtrack that was much too intrusive. 

My take: 1 star

Her husband balks at shooting an oddly complacent deer 
and radically changes his luck.

Modern Family / <가족 시네마> 2012

Directed by: Hong Ji-young, 홍지영 / Kim Seong-ho, 김성호 / Lee Soo-yeon, 이수연 / Shin Su-won, 신수원
Release date: November 2012 

The first segment of this omnibus, “Circle Line”, refers to the subway line that circles Seoul non-stop. Sang-woo has lost his job but, rather than tell his wife and teen-aged daughter, he just goes out dressed for work and rides the circle line all day. His wife is in the last month of a late-in-life pregnancy and in some danger. His daughter wants a new ipad as it is her dad’s “bonus day”. Sang-woo tangles with a beggar woman who he believes is scamming people. A visual parable of the meaninglessness of modern life as Sang-woo endlessly circles the city, but the film never quite engages. My take: 1 star

“Star Shaped Stain”: Families prepare for a one-year memorial service, their children having all died in a horrific kindergarten summer-camp fire. Near the site of the camp, an unbalanced store owner describes seeing one child fleeing the fire alive, setting off a hysterical reaction, everyone hoping that perhaps their child escaped death. One mother in particular hopes against hope that her daughter survived. A pretty pointless film. My take: 1 star

“E.D. 571”: It is the year 2030, Kim, a successful CEO comes home to find a very freaky thirteen-year-old girl waiting on her doorstep. The girl tells of being a test-tube baby, abandoned now by her divorced parents, and a skilled hacker. She has ferreted out the information that Kim is her biological mother, that Kim sold her own ova, illegally, while working her way through college, and the girl is here to blackmail Kim with this information. Has she backed Kim into an impossibly tight corner? It turns out, after all, that the apple has not fallen very far from the tree. Fabulous use of suspense and plot development. My take: 5 stars

“In Good Company”: Done in an interesting docudrama/flashback style, this segment highlights the problems facing the modern woman, who must both work and be responsible for her children. The editor of the in-house journal for a publishing company, Chulwoo is ordered to lay off a pregnant colleague, Ji-won. Meanwhile his own wife is about to go into labor but she cannot leave her job at a preschool. The other workers band together to protest Ji-won’s dismissal, knowing one day they will be in the same situation. Nothing goes well that day. My take: 5 stars

The four stories that make up this omnibus are all vaguely about families and stuff that happens to them: a death in the family, a breadwinner laid off, and so on. The first two filmmakers have adopted the spaghetti-on-the-wall approach to filmmaking (if a cook wants to know if spaghetti is done, they throw a strand at the wall. If it is done, it will stick): they throw everything they have got at the wall, hoping something will stick.

My take for the whole enterprise: 2 stars

The unemployed Sang-woo (Jeong In-gi),

on his day-long subway ride, in "Circle Line". 

The Peach Tree / <복숭아나무> 2012

Directed by Koo Hye-seon / 구혜선

Release date: October 2012

Tong-hyun and Sang-hyun are Siamese twins who have not been separated (ignore the film poster, they are still attached). The twins live in total seclusion in a creapy old house with their father, until Tong-hyun decides he wants to publish a book telling their story. The father brings in a ditzy young woman, Seong-ah, to do the artwork and Tong-hyun manages to hide the fact he has two heads (actually, two faces on opposite sides of a conjoined head, a condition called cephalopagus, rarely survives birth), but she eventually discovers the truth. In the meantime, his book will be published and he becomes a major celebraty. Still, what he really wants is to be normal (and to lose Sang-hyun).

Some interesting make-up and cinematography tricks were employed to create this realistic appearing case of cephalopagus Siamese twins; unfortunately the depiction left all of us with a major ick feeling while watching the film. What the director had in mind for this film never becomes clear and she is all over the map—is it a horror film? A thriller? A fantasy? A drama? A message film? The film fails to tell its story well at all. The eternal cheerfulness of the female artist, the publicity feeding frenzy, a lot of aspects of the film made us laugh when it was not supposed to be funny. A much more nuanced and cinematically satisfying depiction of the struggles of the disabled has been done, for example, in one of my favorite films, Oasis.

My take: no stars

Tong-hyun, in a vampirish hood, meets his new

artist-collaborator, Seong-ah

(Ryoo Deok-hwan and Nam Sang-mi).

Grape Candy / <청포도 사탕> 2012

Full Title: Grape Candy: A 17-Years-Ago Promise

청포도 사탕: 17년 전의 약속
Directed by: Kim Hee-jung / 김희정
Release date: September 2012

Jin-hee, a bank clerk, lives with her fiancé who works for a publishing company. She is suspicious when a femme fatale novelist shows up in her fiancé’s life, only to discover that So-ra was her friend in high-school. Jin-hee is uneasy about this time in her past, as she has lost all memory of those days. Sora hints at some questions about this shared past, seeming to involved their mutual friend, Yeo-eun. But what happened to Yeo-eun is also something Jin-hee can’t remember. Jin-hee and So-ra set off on an uneasy journey together to negotiate what is hidden in Jin-hee’s memory. Will this destroy Jin-hee … or re-make her?

A visually sumptuous film; the cinematography is breathtaking! The filming technique created a monochromatic feeling of claustrophobia, brooding, and mystery. The story-telling was also flawless. 

My take: 5 stars!

So-ra and Jin-hee on their journey

(Park Ji-yoon and Park Jin-hee).

Everything About My Wife / <내 아내의 모든 것> 2012

Directed by: Min Gyoo-dong, 민규동
Release date: May 2012

Doo-hyeon met, fell for, and married Jeong-in while they are both in Japan and she had sworn to speak only Japanese and was playing at the part of a “submissive Japanese woman”. Once she is back in Korea, she reverts to the annoying, neurotic, self-centered motor-mouth she apparently always was. After seven years of marriage to this bizarre woman, Doo-hyeon wants out. He tries to get a job relocation to the boondocks, but she follows him. He hires a Casanova to seduce his wife so she will have to leave him first but she won’t fall for the guy. Doo-hyeon is ready try anything to get her out of his life. But then when he succeeds …

If you are a really, really big fan of Im Soo-jeong, then that might be a reason to watch this film. Otherwise, don’t bother, it is long and tiresome. The humor is thin on the ground and the plot pretty weak. Just lots and lots of on-screen time of Im running her mouth. The only humor for me was the epilogue while the credits were running.  

My take: 1 star

 Jeong-in (Im Soo-jeong) gets snarky

at a company dinner party.

Doomsday Book / <인류멸망보고서> 2012

Directed by: Kim Ji-woon & Lim Pil-seong / 김지운, 임필성
Release date: April 2012

A science-fiction omnibus film, presenting different views of the future. The first piece features zombies—a virus develops out of waste-food being re-cycled as feed for cattle which turns folks into flesh-eat ghouls. Lot of staggering zombies, charnage and bodily fluids, and even a zombie Adam and Eve. The second story posits the question of what makes humankind different from other entities. What if a robot gains so much intelligence that it might reach… enlightenment? The robot in question lives in a temple and questions existence (in a very Buddhist sort of way) while the other monks and nuns come to consider it as a great teacher. Will society be able to accept such a robot or will it be seen as an abomination? No matter how much an entity feels, thinks, and questions like a human, can it ever be considered anything more than a machine? The third piece tells a tale of a family preparing a doomsday shelter in the heart of Seoul in anticipation of the collision of an asteroid with the earth.

For "The New Generation", the piece featuring zombies, I was bored to tears. The only flash of genius was in the television news panel. It was also puzzling why re-cycling would be depicted as the danger to the future of humankind rather than as one important part of the effort to save the earth. Odd choice. My take: no stars

The middle piece, “Heaven’s Creation”, was beautifully created, well-acted, gorgeous to watch, emotionally moving and thought provoking—a masterpiece! This must have been an interesting film for the cast and crew to work in, with one of the protagonists being basically a life-size dummy of wire and shiny plastic. The thoughts and emotions that flickered across the robot’s face were sheer filmic wizardry! The director for this segment, Kim Ji-woon, has directed an eclectic variety of films, I look forward to more in this more speculative vein. My take: 5 stars!

The third section, “Happy Birthday”, had some great comic visuals and an unfathomable plot: something about an asteroid coming to destroy life on earth and a billiard ball being launched to try to save the day. In this work as well, sequences focusing on TV news panels or the shopping channel were wildly funny. The direct of the first and third pieces, Lim Pil-seong, has a genius for satirizing broadcasting. My take: 5 stars!

My take for the whole ensemble: 3 stars

The robot at its prayers.

Quiz King / <퀴즈왕> 2010

Directed by: Jang Jin / 장진
Release date: September 2010

A pair of gangsters with their victim locked in a car trunk, a man who visited his coma-stricken wife in the hospital and his engineering-student son, a wife furious with her husband’s gambling, a support group for depression sufferers – these disparate groups of people will all become involved when a woman committing suicide throws herself on the freeway and a pile-up ensues. When the whole crowd is assembled in the police station, they will find out she has given them the key to the final, million-won question of a quiz show. The group sets themselves to prepping to become contestants on the show.

In a signature move for director Jang Jin, a widely (and wildly) varying group of people end up all assembled in one place, with madness ensuing. With an all-star cast (rumor has it stars leap at the chance to join the cast on a film directed by Jang), the humor and gags are exquisite and they just keep on coming. Jang Jin is, without a doubt, my favorite director. Jang himself appears in the film as a police detective. 

My take: 5 stars... no, 6 stars! I LOVE this film!

The whole chaotic group involved in the suicide

and resulting four-car pile up hits the police station.

As One / <코리아> 2012

Directed by: Moon Heon-seong / 문현성
Release date: May 2012

After years of beating each other in international meets, then losing against the powerhouse Chinese team, the two Koreas come together to field a combined table-tennis team, the first time for such a sports team in the fifty years since the division of the Korean peninsula. The story is based on real people and events of 1991. First, the two sides find working with each other a daunting task, they are so different in conduct and attitude, then the two sides begin to bond.

As a film plot, it’s been done before: disparate individuals are forced to work together as a team to overcome great odds: first they grate, then they bond and overcome the odds. Nothing unexpected here. The film is done well and is fun to watch. It has got to be a hit even in North Korea, as the super-star Bae Doona was cast as the North Korean table-tennis team leader!  

My take: 4 stars

 The first day of training as a combined team:

the film emphasizes the style differences between

the South Korean and North Korean teams.

Two Weddings and a Funeral <두 번의 결혼식과 한 번의 장례식>, 2012

Directed by: Kim-Jho Kwang-soo / 김조광수
Release date: June 2012

Min-soo and Hyo-jin are doctors working in the same but they have a huge problem: if the hospital discovers their sexual orientation—they are both gay—it would mean the end of their job. Their solution: get married to each other, purely a marriage of convenience, and live across the hall from each other with their respective partners. It seems like a workable solution, but trying to pass off their marriage as real to their families and, eventually, the world at large, proves more difficult than they had hoped.

A very fun film to watch, also a very annoying one. The earth-moved-and-angels-wept cinematic effects for romance—in this film, between two men—were a hoot to watch. On the other hand, too many of the plot twists were unlikely and seemed comic-bookish. The hyper-femininity of most of the gay male characters in the film got to be a bit cloying to watch, giving the film an anti-gay feeling, a surprise considering the director Kim Cho himself is a “spokes director” for the gay community and outspoken in his views.  

My take: 3 stars

Five gay friends discuss “sham marriages”,

marriages to keep one’s sexual orientation a secret

from an intolerant society (Kim Dong-yoon, Park Jeong-pyo,

Park Soo-young, Kim Joon-beom, and Lee Seung-joon).

Dangerously Excited <나는 공무원이다> / 2012

Directed by: Koo Ja-hong / 구자홍
Release date: July 2012

Mr. Han is a civil servant in the Mapo district office, working and living in Hong-dae—the clamorous and glamorous center of nightlife for the youth of Seoul. He prides himself on his uneventful lifestyle: off to work and back to home again at the same time every day, never losing his temper with the most unreasonable complaints that come into his office, and evenings spent enjoying TV at home. His life may be repetitive and dull, but that’s the way he likes it. One day, this straight-laced public official will meet up a spirited indie band. The band and the official are repeatedly thrown together, first testing Han’s temper like never before, and then Han begins to change.

A well-crafted film, from beginning to end, with some nice, edgy, indie camera work. The film is driven by music, wacky humor, and the idea that people can change and that change can be awesome!  

My take: 5 stars!

An old dog learns new musical tricks,

with a little help from his new friends

(Yoon Je-moon, Seo Hyeon-jeong, and Seong Joon).

U.F.O. 2012

Directed by: Kong Quee-hyun / 공귀현
Release date: May 2012

High-school student Soon-kyu is kind of gentle and moony and fairly naïve. As class president, things take a strange turn for him when he and three of his more misfit classmates catch sight of a UFO. The four set off for a mountain famous for its UFO sightings. Upon arrival, a local high-school girl, Ji-hyun, tells them to clear off and go back to Seoul, but it only eggs them on. Thanks to some heavy drinking on the mountain, Soon-kyu blacks out. Eventually, all four are hauled into the police station for questioning as the high-school girl, Ji-hyun, has disappeared. Their story is that they were abducted by aliens in the mountains, all except for Soon-kyu who can’t remember a thing.  He will return to the mountain, seeking his own answers for what took place that night.

Very well filmed and acted. The filmmaker has one wondering why this film was not categorized as science fiction … until the shocker ending. I would have preferred a bit more explanation for how it all went down, but that is just my preference; the director left some motivations as a mystery.  

My take: 4 stars

The four students at the police station being questioned

about the girl’s disappearance, still insisting they have been

on a space ship the whole time (Kim Chang-hwan,

Park Sang-hyeok, Jeong Yeong-gi, Lee Joo-Seung).

Superstar / <슈퍼스타> 2012

Directed by: Lim Jin-soon / 임진순
Release date: June 2012

Jin-soo is an unemployed film director, killing time waiting for news on whether his current project, his third attempt, will get funded. His friend, Tae-wook, is a character actors in B-level ganster films. Tae-wook shows up in a fancy rented car, insisting that, as filmmakers, they musto go to the Busan International Film Festival. In Busan, they crash parties, carouse, meet groupies, and even catch part of a film!

An engaging muse on what minor filmmakers and actors might do at film festivals, the film is backgrounded at the BIFF, with a number of stars playing cameos of themselves to add verisimilitude. If watching this film doesn't make you want to book a plane ticket for Busan for October, I don't know what will. If you love film,  you'll love this film!  

My take: 5 stars!

Our filmmakers crash a festival party where the introverted

director Jin-soo (Song Sam-dong) is urged by the garrulous

actor Tae-wook (Kim Jeong-tae) to get out there and start networking.

Glove / <글러브> 2011

Directed by: Kang Woo-seok / 강우석
Release date: January 2011

Kim Sang-nam, a heavy-drinking, hot-tempered professional baseball player on probation, is “volunteered” by his manager to coach a high school team at a school for the deaf in the countryside in order to rectify his bad image and get back into baseball. At first, Kim is a reluctant recruit for the job but the troubles of the star pitcher on the team nudge his interest and he begins to take his coaching position seriously and puts his heart into preparing the team for the Korean high-school baseball nationals. Apparently, the film is based on a true story.

As a film plot, it’s been done before: over-the-hill/in-bad-graces professional must scale down and go help out: at first she/he is unhappy, but then she/he gets with the program and everybody ends up winning. This film was a cross between Radio Star (Lee Joon-ik 2006) and Take Off (Kim Yong-hwa 2009), with a little My Piano (Kwon Hyeong-jin  2006) thrown in. Despite the trite plot, the film works and, for the most part, kept our interest. It was way too long, though (144 minutes) for a feel-good vehicle and could have been edited to tighten it up.

My take: 3 stars

The regular “coaches” get an earful from the

reluctant pro-baseball player “volunteer coach”

the first time he gets to see the team play

(Kang Shin-il, Yoo Seon, and Jeong Jae-yeong).

Mapado / <마파도> 2005

Directed by: Choo Chang-min / 추창민
Release date: March 2005

A former gangster, now proprietor of a bookstore/coffee shop (he can’t make up his mind, apparently) is fond of playing the lottery. In fact, he has entered the same numbers, week after week, for years. As usual, he sends one of the hostesses who works in his coffee shop to buy the ticket and on her way back, when she realizes those numbers have won, she disappears with the ticket. He hires a crooked cop and send him out with his younger brother to hunt her down … and it turns out her “hometown” is a tiny island, now inhabited by a handful of irascible older women. The two “hit men” first grate, then fall in with, life on the island, while they wait. The hostess “with the ticket” finally shows up, then the gangster with an entire crew arrive and chaos on the island ensues.

An interesting idea, some great acting, but a disappointing script. I enjoyed watching this film but it could have been so much more.  

My take:  3 stars

Island women meet Seoul toughs …

and feed them dinner.

Gabi / <가비 - 加比> 2012

Directed by: Jang Yoon-hyeon / 장윤현
Release date: March 2012

It is 1877 and political intrigue is about to begin for little Tanya when her father, a Korean national, is killed by assassins in their house in Russian Manchuria. She and the family servant boy, Ilyich, grow up in Russia multi-lingual, do a lot of things (join bandit gangs, rob trains, steal coffee beans, get lined up before firing squads) and end up working for Japan. It is 1896 and Tanya is sent as a spy to the Russian legation in Seoul where Ko-jong, the king of Korea, is living under the protection of the Russians. The king loves this new-fangled beverage, coffee (the “gabi” of the title), and she is hired to prepare and serve it to him. Meanwhile her lover Ilyich ends up working for the Japanese military in Korea. A lot of intrigue follows, with spies from all sides competing against each other, plots to poison the king set up and foiled, people assassinated, militia’s battling, a lot happens. Will Tanya's and Ilyich's loyalty return to Korea? Will they ever be together? 

Gabi is a sumptuous and engaging film to watch but it is rather too long (115 minutes), with an extremely complicated plot, and often the action gets repetitious – the film could have used some careful editing to shorten it and tighten up the plot. A great deal of the film’s dialog takes place either in Russian or Japanese, which is historically accurate and therefore kind of cool. The computer-generated vistas of late 19^th century Korean urban spaces are eye-catching. Be sure to drink coffee while watching and enjoy all the gorgeous 19^th-century coffee cups featured in the film. 

My take:  4 stars

Two palace women, barista Tanya, hotelier Sonya,

and translator all attend on the Russian legate

and the Korean king for a coffee date.

Pong-ddol / <뽕똘> 2011

Directed by: Oh Muel / 오멸
Release date: August 2011

An actor from Seoul is traveling on Cheju Island and answers to a poster for actors wanted. First he is put off by the eccentric director, cast, and film crew but then he gets caught up in their pure enthusiasm for the project, a film to be called Fishing Film, about a very big fish. There is no screenplay, no camera engineer, no budget, and for a while no camera, but the shooting goes on … sort of.

Definitely an indie film but one which showcased, for the first three-fourths of the film, director Oh’s deft control of humor and timing. The high point of the film, for me, was the absurd after-thirty-years-in-a-boat scene being filmed in a parking lot – I literally laughed till I cried. The film begins to drag and loose its humor toward the end, for example, the chase scene seemed way too long. I could not help thinking that the director could have done a better conclusion.  

My take: 4 stars

In the director’s "office", the actor waits his turn 

while the producer and director audition the lead actress

(Kim Min-hyeok, Lee Kyeong-joon, Yang Jeong-won, and Jo Eun).

Passerby #3 / Rainbow / <레인보우> 2010

Directed by: Shin Su-won / 신수원
Release date: November 2010

The gift of a digital movie camera inspired Kim Ji-wan to quit her high-school teaching job and aim at directing films. She scores an internship in a production company but things do not run smoothly in this production-line atmosphere. The committee in charge continually finds fault with all of her ideas and each of her screenplays—first they tell her her ideas are not commercial enough, then they advise her to find her own "true colors". Meanwhile at home her son Si-yeong is becoming a rebellious adolescent and her long-suffering husband Sang-woo is tired of her dead-end aspirations.

This film is a joyful riff on the creative impulse. The humor is whimsical, the characters engaging, and the storyline upbeat but never sappy. 

My take: 5 stars!

A species of duet: son (Baek So-myeong) on the guitar,

mom (Park Hyun-young) on the keyboard.

Cyrano Agency / <시라노; 연애조작단> 2010

Directed by: Kim Hyeon-seok, 김현석
Release date: September 2010

The Cyrano Agency works behind the scenes to arrange encounters for their clients with strangers, and feed them their lines for these encounters over whisperers, which will lead to love and marriage. Some clients mumble their way through their lines … and get their girl! Other clients flub their lines and make a fool out of themselves … and still they get their girl!

An interesting premise, but the film fails to convince and the implausibility of the plot itself quickly palls. The cinematography and the lighting were extremely well done! Too bad the storyline did not achieve the same levels. 

My take: 1 star

A new client (Song Sae-byeok) is interviewed by a
Cyrano Agency staff member (Park Sin-hye) – he wants to
find love with the pretty barista he saw in a coffee shop.

Punch / <완득이> 2011

Directed by: Lee Han / 이한
Release date: October 2011

High-school student Wan-deuk is angry and rebellious and keeps to himself. His father, a hunchback, should have been a talented professional dancer but instead must eke out a living as an itinerant comic dancer. The complications keep coming – his neighbor turns out to be his iconoclastic teacher, Dong-ju; the sudden reappearance of his birth mother who is a Filipino guest worker in Korea, and so on – but Wan-deuk finds an inner strength and sense of fairness in himself that not only guides him but begins to win him supporters, including the attention of the hottest girl in his class.

As well as a being a bildungsroman, the film deals with a whole series of topical issues of discrimination, such as discrimination against the disabled and against foreign guest-workers – topical but not preachy with a good leavening of humor. The acting was especially flawless. The film was a little slow paced and could have used tighter editing. 

My take: 5 stars!

Distressed by her worn shoes, Wan-deuk takes his new-found

mother to a store and buys her some patent-leather pumps …

and claims her as his mother to the nosey shopkeeper

(Jasmine Lee, Yoo Ah-in, unaccredited).

Guns and Talks / <킬러들의 수다> 2001

Directed by: Jang Jin / 장진
Release date: October 2001

Four men run a lucrative enterprise, but not your ordinary business, they hire out as professional killers: Sang-yun lays the plans, Jung-woo is a specialist with bombs, Jae-young a skilled sniper, and Ha-yun is the electronics whiz. Neither are they your ordinary hit men: they are a quirky bunch who all live together and have family meetings about their next target. Police detective Cho gets a break in hunting them down and is hard on their trail. Then they take on what may be their final job, an impossible-to-pull-off public assassination, all to please a lady with a pretty face.

Not your ordinary hit men and not your usual action film, indeed not. This film is another of director Jang Jin’s contribution to his oeuvre of quirky comedies. It’s a long film (120 minutes) but it never gets boring. Jang’s visual and verbal humor just keeps on coming. And it never veers off into gross “bathroom” humor! Hurray! In my book, Jang Jin is a comic genius. The music and cinematography are pretty awesome as well, and the play within the film, snips from Hamlet, was gorgeously staged (perhaps a reference to director Jang's extensive stage directing experience?). 

My take: 5 stars! (I love the droll humor of Jang Jin!)

A high school student from the neighborhood drops by, she
wants her teacher knocked off. The four attempt, not very convincingly,

to convince her that they are not what they seem, that they don’t

kill people for a living (Jeong Jae-yeong, Sin Ha-gyoon,

Shin Hyeon-joon, Won Bin, and Kong Hyo-jin).

The Recipe <된장> 2010

Directed by: Lee Seo-goon / 이서군
Release date: October 2010

A murderer’s last words before execution recall the fabulously delicious bean paste soup he ate just before his arrest. Intrigued by this report, a reporter seeks out the soup and begins to learn of the mysterious woman behind it and of a recipe for fantastic bean paste.

The first third of the film is a quirky comedy, the middle third a series of bittersweet journeys, and the last third slides into a beautifully filmed but soppy love story. Throughout the whole film, the cinematography and animation was superb. The comedy sections were immensely enjoyable, done in a very understated comic style. The changes in pace for the film were odd but still, overall, an enjoyable film.  

My take: 4 stars

The wanted criminal enjoys and finishes his bowl

of bean-paste soup with no awareness of the swat team

bursting in to arrest him … the soup is that good!